The Good and The Wicked
by A Lonely Planet
Summary: Glinda is blonde and Elphaba is green, but they are so much more. This is a soap-opera story about them and their lives. AU.


**A/N: This story is all about the universe of Wicked that has now been turned into a AU, parody, soap-opera. Read and please review, I'd love to hear what you think! **

**The Good and The Wicked **

Elphaba woke up in the morning naked. She was shocked to see herself next to both Avaric and Glinda.

Elphaba eyes widened dramatically, "In the name of Oz, what happened?"

Glinda wiped her eyes looking at Elphaba, "We had sex."

Avaric smiled, "It was beautiful and almost half as sexy as me."

Elphaba turned to Avaric, her eyes still matching the size of dinner plates. "I don't know what happened. All I remember is drinking wine and then darkness."

Glinda frowned, "I was going to ask if I was good in bed. Well that has really ruined my night. Elphaba I hate you."

Then before Elphaba could say one word Glinda stood, gathering her things, she left the room walking brusquely out the door.

"Huh blonde's not like us brunets, ay Elphaba", Avaric smiled with a sexy glint in his eyes.

Completely ignoring him Elphaba started off into the distance with a look of daze fright. Staring at the wall in confusion and meaningless thought, Elphaba came to realise that the room was completely brown.

In her confusion Elphaba asked, "Why is it so brown in here? Even your windows are brown, letting in a brown light."

Avaric shrugged with purpose. "Because love, it reminds m of me, I can't help it, I'm so sexy and rich. I have to. The doctor said that if I'm kind to one person, the compassion could kill me, because I'm so used to my arrogant ways acting differently probably will kill me. Does it turn you on, thinking about me?"

"No of course not, it reminds me of shit. Look, I don't know how I got here but I have to leave, Glinda, I have to explain that it's not night but morning." Elphaba replied matter of factly.

Avaric sighed, "Then who am I meant to have sex with?"

Rolling her eyes, "How about yourself?"

Smiling Avaric agreed. "Perfect selection, I couldn't have chosen better myself."

With that problem solved Elphaba walked out of the room, on a mission to explain to Glinda that when the sun was out it was daytime.

444

Boq woke in confusion and saw brown. That was when he realised where he was and revulsion hit him, he'd come to save Glinda. As he had clearly failed, he'd have to find her before anything bad happened.

That was when he saw pink among the brown dash across the room.

Getting up from the floor, he called out. "Glinda! Glinda! I need your help, where's Elphaba?"

"I don't know, in some random room with Avaric. What is it Biq? I need to get changed before my parents come home this morning." Glinda said frantically getting her high-heels on.

"Glinda it is morning." Boq pointed out in a helpful manner.

"Oh no! What am I going to do? They're going to kill me!" Glinda looked as if she were about to cry. "Actually what are doing here anyway Biq."

Boq sighed, "I followed you and you could tell them the truth."

"Oh good you're still following me, seeing as this is Avaric's house I was scared I was starting to lose my fan-base. Are you insane? I might be dumb but I'm not stupid, they'd kill me if they knew I was drinking and sleeping with the infamous Elphaba and Avaric. Really Boq your no help." Glinda posed dramatically with her hand touching her forehead in a fain fashion.

Elphaba ran to them stopping in front of Glinda. "I came to tell you its morning!"

"I know Bloop told me. Elphie what do I do? My parents are going to kill me!" Glinda flailed her arms.

Elphaba sighed with purpose. "Tell them you were at my house studying and it was too late to come home. There you go."

"I love you Elphie," Glinda grinned broadly jumping to hug the other girl. "Jees what the point of a fan-base if their no help. Elphie you're the best, we should get married!"

"No thanks," Elphaba smiled back.

Boq just sighed and walked away. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, that's when he heard strange noises coming from behind a door, upon opening it, he found that he wished he had.

444

In the meanwhile in a far off castle The Wizard sat in a very large empty room in an incredibly big impressive looking chair.

In a very great deep voice the Wizard whined, "I'm bored. Morrible, what am I meant to do? I've conquered all of Oz, everyone bends to my command and now I've nothing to do. I hate being a dictator, everyone expects me to be harsh and squish innocent flowers. Whatever am I to do?"

"Well first off you're not going to confess you sleep with a teddy bear. It'll ruin your image. I don't know, you could always learn instruments or the native languages of Oz?" Morrible suggested not really paying attention as she went through her paperwork.

"Morrible," The Wizard scolded, "leave Sam out of this. Besides I've already learned everything there is to about Oz. Care to suggest anything else?"

Writing Morrible placed a stack of papers into a bundle. "Yes, yes, I forget how touchy you are about that stuffed thing. Okay how about we set up a competition for someone to be your wife. Every dictator needs a dictratess."

The Wizard smiled with amusement. "Yes I think that'll do and then the winner can marry you. That'll teach them not to trust a dictator."

Morrible stopped her stapling, "What! Marry me?"

444

Elphaba took Glinda to her home and they began to study for the test they had the next day. Being the amazing student she was Elphaba already knew everything was to know. However being a good friend meant she had to help Glinda. That and Glinda had threatened to sing the Happy Glinda song for two hours if she didn't. Threats never worked on Elphaba unless Glinda made them. What could she say, Glinda had that power over her.

_Is someone pregnant? Will Avaric ever love someone other that himself? Is Morrible really going to have to marry a women? These questions may never be answered, tune in next episode of The Good and The Wicked. _


End file.
